First Month Thanksgivings

One month flew by just like that! Within the first week of work, I was instantly hit with the reality that it's truly one thing to be able to have the gift of teaching, but another thing to teach everything completely in sign language. Being thrown into the deep end became my reality. Nonetheless, filled with gratitude, I'm so thankful for the experiences I've gained over the past few weeks. I'm surrounded by some of the sweetest colleagues who never fail to greet one another multiple times daily. The realization that we live in a broken world was also magnified during the first few days of work. Hearing teachers share their desire to improve the students' lifestyle but to no avail opened my eyes to the brokenness of the world, recognizing that as much as I wish I could wreck my brain to think of a new invention to solve their conditions, what they experience is a result of the curse of sin. I'm grateful that the Lord has helped me to grow in my sensitivity towards the brokenness of the present world, to long to cultivate a heart that breaks for what breaks His heart, and to groan alongside creation, as it has only increased my longing for the new creation- a secured and certain hope that we make every effort to cling onto.
Furthermore, as I grew sensitive to the surrounding brokenness, I started to weave lament into my quiet time. Lamentations 3:22-23 became a promise that I began to cling onto more tightly. You see, a broken world will bring its portion of grief, but it can also impart wisdom as lament retunes our hearts to what's really important.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."

One of my sweet friends reminded me of the sheer joy of being an ambassador of Christ as I learned to intentionally overflow the love I've received from Jesus to the people around me. My younger brother so kindly offered to bake some vegan muffins, and I got to put together a little note and went around blessing my new colleagues in school. What a sweet reminder of Acts 20:35- it's truly more blessed to give than to receive!

Day 2 rolled around and I found myself being thrown into the deep end because a teacher reported sick that morning. Thankfully, it was a class of 7-9 year olds! Admittedly, I struggled to get their attention and a wave of panic swept through me as I realized how unprepared I was to teach everything in sign language. How do I get their attention? How do I praise them without my cheerful tone? How do I practice being firm yet gentle without words? It was in those moments that I realized how weak I am. Within those two weeks, I was asked to relief several other classes as well, including students in the secondary level. I was so nervous! They signed so fluently and I started to coward in fear. Slowly and gently, the Lord reminded me that He is the Creator and a loving Father. And if He is the creator, he created these beautiful languages as well, so why am I not turning to Him more for help? As I confessed my pride and turned to Him in weakness, God was faithful and miraculously, I left each class in awe of the fact that I actually got through the lesson! Oh, what a reminder that we serve such a big God who longs for us to run to Him in weakness and humility.

A sinful tendency I noticed was my pride, in which I often felt superior over the VI students, but inferior to the HL students. God, may you strip me off my pride. I had the golden opportunity to teach a VI class english. I was immediately humbled by my experience with them. They were so hard working and so willing to learn, and it was consistent every time I was posted to relief that class! I recalled one of the students, CJ, diligently brailled down an entire composition with minimal help on my end. Immediately, he asked, "Ms Pollyanna, what time is it now?" After learning that he had 15 more mins before his next subject, he said, "Since I have some time, let me continue my grammar MCQ!" That was so humbling and encouraging for me!

To be very honest, there were already moments when I strongly felt the pressures of the world to climb the ladder and chase status. There are times when I second guess myself and wonder if I should really be in this field because the foreseeable possibility of thriving in another job related to my field of study is a real temptation. Oh Lord, remind me that every job is dignified. I recently attended a conference and found that this perspective is so helpful! The speaker was sharing that we all have two jobs: the first job of all believers is solely to do the work of the Lord, while our second job is really just a spare job! Our second job is of minimal significance as compared to our first job, since it's the latter that will truly last and will not be in vain! May we all consider what the work of the Lord is and why it is worth doing.

Whimsical Interlude:

Recently, I was invited to be one of the worship leaders. It was truly a privilege and after the main rehearsal, the four worship leaders stayed back to practice a little more. Having our choir conductor play on the piano while we surrounded him with united voices nearly brought tears to my eyes and shivers down my spine. It was such a precious and beautiful moment I will never want to forget. Singing in the church choir has been such a huge blessing for me. I've left every session feeling so refreshed and ready to conquer the new week ahead. Being able to be in the body of Christ, proclaiming truths to one another, coupled with responding in worship and humble adoration to the very Creator and Ruler of the world has been so encouraging for me! My heart is so full!

My mama has always invested in my life despite having seven children! She's always conveyed to us that she desires to become our best friend, instead of just a mom to us, and she really lives that out! Recently, we were able to hang out together and bear one another's burdens, edify one another, and point one another to the hope of the Gospel. My mom is oh so special and I constantly thank God for her! She's truly my best friend and sister-in-Christ!

Partner Me In Prayer:

1. Truly thankful for the opportunity to have lunch with one of my colleagues, JH outside of school. She's one of my closest friends and by God's grace, I've formed quite a sweet friendship with her. Praise the Lord that even though I didn't intend to share the gospel at all with her that day since I'm far from being fluent in sign language and would desire to cultivate a deeper relationship with her first, she asked about my religion and I was able to share with her that I'm a Christian. She shared that she's a Buddhist and mentioned that she believes that there's only one true god. Please pray that I will seek to persevere in learning to sign the gospel so that I can share with her and potentially with my other colleagues with hearing loss.
   

2. It's easy for me to judge a book by its cover, and I quickly caught myself doing just that. There's this teacher that I was quick to judge because I didn't quite like the way she treated some of the HL students. But I praise God for giving me the courage and opportunity to have a more intimate chat with her, which helped me to shift my perspective on the way I viewed her. In fact, there was once when I nearly fell sick in school and was sneezing quite a bit. I received a text later that afternoon from that teacher, and she apologized for not looking out for me that day, even though she wasn't assigned to be my mentor at all, and even wished me a quick recovery. That was so sweet! Please pray that I will remove the lens that clouds my desire to love and serve her, and to find more opportunities to get to know her as a friend.

3. Before working at the school, I had been working for my dad. Since work has officially started, I went into the office only when time allows. On one Friday, I felt extremely tired and drained but decided to go into the office since I hadn't been there in a while. I was warmly greeted by one of the colleagues, and he was curious to hear about my experience at my new job. At some point during the conversation, he asked, "Can I ask you an earnest question, are you actually this grateful every day?" I was able to share a little bit about how my relationship with God gives me joy and purpose to push through each day. Initially, I thought of sharing the gospel but thought that it wasn't the most conducive time since there were several colleagues around us. He then shared with me that I was one of the kindest, purest, and most mature people he's ever met and was impressed by both my sister and me since he first met us, and thus wanted to pose that question. I took that chance and shared the Gospel with him, showing him that Christ gives me purpose, identity, real joy, and real hope. What a relief and beauty it is to be God's servant, to realize that the message does not belong to me, giving me all the more reason to boldly proclaim Him, thus bringing all the glory to Christ Himself. I also found that the more I share the Gospel, the more I am convicted of the truth myself since I have the opportunity to rehearse the very living Word. Please pray that this seed planted will continue to stir and soften his heart and that ultimately, I will trust in the Lord to work in him.